This weekend we had a little birthday party for Hunter to celebrate becoming our little twonager. An hour or so into the party I had a little chuckle to myself as I looked around and saw friends that we used to drink a lot with or have parties with but now everyone was drinking wine and beer responsibly and pretending to be super interested in a 2 year old’s birthday gifts and singing happy birthday to the kid who had no real clue what was going on. It is pretty neat to see the transition though. Everyone loves the snot out of the little dude and all made the big trek to our small town to come and see and celebrate our little monster. All in all, it turned out well. We did snack foods for everyone instead of whipping up the gourmet burgers that we did last year. There was lots of wine and beer because what’s a kid party without booze for the adults? Our house was crowded with lots of great people! It was the first time some of our guests have been in our new house so I worked hard to get it de-cluttered as best as possible. Of course I shut the door to the room where I shoved everything out of view! Isn’t that how these things work?
One thing that I noticed is that when you host in your own home, a lot of people’s true colours come out in regards to offering help. Some people take the invite of being a guest quite literally and will come, eat, drink and then leave. Others will offer help days before coming. And some will offer to help with anything once they arrive. I am so thankful to the people who offered up their help even when it wasn’t needed later on in the party. I am even more thankful for the people who helped entertain the birthday boy so I could set up/clean up/eat/socialize for a little bit. The people I am not thankful for are my husband’s parents. Oh.my.god did I ever want to strangle them the whole weekend. I could probably rant about this for days, but, long story short, they came, they refused to pay for a hotel room and our guest room isn’t set up with a bed for guests, so we kindly moved our large trailer to the campground that is a 2 minute walk from our house and set them up there for the weekend. They basically then spent the weekend free-loading off of us…as usual. We are ok paying for at least one meal when they come. But for everything else, we hope that they at least will offer to help cover the cost of additional meals. They did not. And my husband isn’t about to say anything to them about it either. When it came to the party, they were the ones who take the word “guest” quite literally. My mom and I were busting our butts in the kitchen, setting up minimal decorations, doing a quick cleaning sweep of the house before people arrived. What did his parents do? They sat on our back deck staring at their phones. Not once did either of them come inside to offer help. I was unloading my truck with bags of food, boxes of alcohol, and a bunch of other stuff, and his dad actually walked by me struggling to carry five bags of groceries at once and he didn’t even offer to help me bring them in. Didn’t even ask if there was anything else he could grab from the truck. Once the food was out on the table, they sat around the table and stuffed their faces and tortured….I mean…chatted with a couple other people. When it came to gift opening time, they sat well behind their grandson and pretended to fake interest. They didn’t get him a birthday gift at all. I know that we told people not to get him gifts and instead we wanted to collect donations for two charities that are close to our hearts. Of course a few people couldn’t resist getting him a little something and we got two donations to the charities, which is awesome. But they did neither. Which is so bizarre to me because I pretty much have to reign my parents in when it comes to gift giving for Hunter. Hunter will likely be my in-laws only grandchild, so I find it bizarre that the naturally desire to spoil him isn’t there. I don’t mean by buying him things as love is clearly not measured by the amount of gifts received. But just by the general desire to spend as much time with him as possible when they come visit him. On Saturday morning we went to a popular breakfast place that is on a farm and it has a big playground. While we waited for our food, I took him over to the playground and he played like mad for about 25 minutes. Instead of coming and trying to engage with him, they sat at the picnic table about 100m away and barely even glanced in his direction. It’s SO BIZARRE to me!!!! So, anyway, when the party started winding down and I was working in the kitchen tidying up the huge mess, they came up to me and told me they were exhausted (from what? Who knows) and were going to go to the trailer for a nap. They didn’t offer to help pick up plates from around the house. They didn’t offer to wash some dishes. Nothing. They left me to deal with it all myself until my mom swooped in to help. It was more important for them to get their nap. Meanwhile I was so fucking exhausted that I just looked at them and grunted out “that’s fine.” And turned away. He then said that they weren’t sure what their plans are for the evening. So all I said, from over my shoulder, was that we would be at home trying to clean up. They must have got the hint from me as they did not try to come back over later in the evening to hang out. All I have to say about that is halle-fucking-lujah. Eddie went to bed at 8:50 because apparently he was so exhausted from doing not much too, so I got to enjoy some quiet time, unwinding, on the couch watching Netflix. He saved his own ass by letting me sleep in the next day.
I know I have posted a rant or two about his parents in the past. And I don’t know why I’m always somewhat surprised by their behaviour or why I even ever expect them to change. In March they talked about starting to facetime Hunter so he will remember them, like he does with my family who all make an effort. Do you think they have tried facetiming once in the 5 months since they made that promise? No. And then they have the balls to tell me that we should bring him to their town and they can take care of him for a couple days while we get some alone time. Not frigging likely!!! While Hunter does eventually warm up to them, I don’t trust them for anything more than an hour being alone with him. Neither does Eddie! I want Hunter to have a great relationship with both sides of his family, but, the way it’s looking, he’s going to grow up with a much stronger preference to my side of the family than Eddie’s. It will be really interesting to see how that dynamic works as he grows older. Whether he will start to see how odd his grandparents on this dad’s side are. Or maybe, some day, they will start to step up a little bit more. I don’t really know. I just don’t want them to become the grandparents that Hunter kicks and screams over having to go and visit once he’s older. The future is going to be interesting…that’s for sure.